Simple government solutions

This is hilarious and tragic:

As you might recall, giving feedback on Uber is a veritable labyrinth of steps:

  1. Activate your mobile device screen.
  2. Dry the finger or fingers to be used during the feedback operation.
  3. Position your finger over the pertinent screen coordinates.
  4. Apply pressure using the predesignated digit.
  5. Lift your finger.

But Nevada’s system is as easy as 1–2–3, with no conditions on limb wetness:

  1. Print out the Long Route Voluntary Witness Statement.
  2. Complete the sworn affidavit in view of a public notary.
  3. Mail or fax the form to the Department of Business and Industry.

Given that, here are a few insider “tips and tricks” to keep in mind when cabbing in Vegas:

  • Wear a fanny pack containing a desktop computer, a printer, envelopes, stamps, a fax machine, a notary, and food pellets for your notary.
  • While in the cab, note the driver’s full name, permit number, cab company name, cab number, license plate number, and physical appearance. If you don’t have this information memorized for some reason, just ask the driver while you’re locked in the car with him. If he wants to know why you need it, explain that you’re trying to have him fired and ask for a selfie to fulfill the physical description requirement.
  • Remember to bring $10 to pay the notary to witness you sign your complaint that you were overcharged by $10.
  • If you need transportation to a notary, consider taking a taxi cab.

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